


Dumping Man

by spoonsoftea



Category: Rhett & Link
Genre: Buddy System, Conversations, Gen, Good Mythical Morning - Freeform, If You Squint - Freeform, M/M, not really rhink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-15
Updated: 2017-01-15
Packaged: 2018-09-17 13:37:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9327146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spoonsoftea/pseuds/spoonsoftea
Summary: Link's having some thoughts, and wants to share. It's the weekend, though, so he calls from a...less-than-ideal location. //“Mm,” hums Rhett, obviously skeptical, “I’ve been in the bathroom after you, brother, and trust me, there’s nothing polite about what’s going on in there.”





	

**Author's Note:**

> there's nothing really gross here, but...it is what it is. title inspired by GMM episode "How to Share a Hotel Bed."

The phone rings once, and then Link hears a thud followed by a distant, “ _shit_.”

He waits a second, then says, “Did it crack?”

“No,” Rhett replies on the other end. “But I almost dropped it in the freaking toilet.”

Link smirks, flexing his toes in the bathmat under his feet. “Should be more careful.”

The snort Rhett gives in reply says everything he doesn’t have to about who the clumsier of the two is. “Yeah, sure. I do have a case, you know.”

Link doesn’t, except for the Doctor Who one he sometimes borrows from Lily, so his retorts go unspoken. “You answer all phone calls that way?”

“I got turds on the brain, man,” Rhett says, unapologetic, and Link can hear the grin in his voice even as his nose wrinkles.

“Gross, dude.”

“You called _me_ ,” Rhett points out, “and it’s not like you’re not doing the same thing.”

“Some of us are bein’ polite about it,” Link says primly, spine unconsciously straightening.

“Mm,” hums Rhett, obviously sceptical, “I’ve been in the bathroom after you, brother, and trust me, there’s nothing polite about what’s going on in there.”

Link laughs. “I’ve been in the shower _while_ you’re going,” he reminds Rhett. “I could say the same for you, man.”

“No one’s gonna win this,” Rhett warns him, and they both chuckle until the moment passes. There’s a pause; Rhett sighs, and Link knows they’ve moved onto the real matter at hand. “You don’t like it?”

“It’s not that,” Link says, shuffling his feet as he thinks about the texts they’d been exchanging. “It’s not a question of liking it or not, it’s just – it feels like admitting something, or givin’ up.”

“It’s not giving up,” Rhett’s voice says, and in the background Link can hear some noises he doesn’t want to think too hard about. “It’s knowing our audience and finding what’s gonna work best.”

“Yeah, I _know_ that,” Link replies, brow furrowing.

“So what –?” Rhett begins, but Link cuts him off.

“It feels weird,” Link says, “okay? Like we’re settling for somethin’ cause it’s the best we’re ever gonna do.”

“You know it’s not like that,” Rhett says sharply. “We’re being smart about this. Or we were,” he adds, and Link bristles.

“Come on, Rhett, stop messin’ around. Is this really what you wanna do?”

“Don’t snap at me,” Rhett retorts. “Look, it’s not ideal, but we want to do this narrative thing, and we want to be in it, and this is what’s gonna work best. We talked about this.”

Link switches his phone from his left hand to his right so he can fiddle with the roll of toilet paper beside him. “Don’t be a jerk,” he says hotly. “I just wanna have a conversation about it, alright?”

“So talk,” Rhett says, and Link scowls.

“If you’re gonna be an ass,” he begins, and then pauses at a sound. “You done?”

“Mid session flush,” Rhett replies from the other end of the line, and they both laugh. Link takes the opportunity to make sure he doesn’t need to do the same.

“Look, I know it’s not what we’d ideally want to do,” Rhett says after the moment passes, and Link hears the truce in his voice. “And you can have all the freaking feelings you want to about it. But you gotta tell me if you’re backing out or changing your mind.”

“I’m not backing out,” Link says. “I just – I get tired sometimes, you know? GMM has like three times as many subscribers as our main channel. And now it’s – this. This thing that’s like, taken over everything we do.”

Rhett is quiet. “You still like doing it, though?”

Link swallows; this is not the conversation he’d planned on having. “Yeah,” he says, mostly honestly, “most of the time. I just never thought it would stop us from doin’ the stuff we want to do.”

“It’s not,” Rhett replies, “it’s just – changing how we do things. We’ve always wanted to do narrative work, well, this is how we’re –”

“Rhett, come on, man,” Link interrupts, “I know you know what I mean.” He pulls a length of toilet paper and folds it on his knee with one hand, switching his phone back to his left shoulder.

“Not really,” Rhett says, and Link can hear the frustration in his voice. “Would you just say what –”

“Sometimes I feel like if we were good enough it wouldn’t matter,” Link blurts, all the words coming at once. “Like if the show was good enough, it wouldn’t have to be about GMM.”

There’s a pause as Rhett digests this. “You know it doesn’t work like that, Link.”

“Yeah,” Link acknowledges, “I do. Don’t mean I don’t feel that way, sometimes. You don’t?”

Rhett is quiet. “Yeah,” he admits after a moment, “maybe sometimes.”

Link lets out an explosive breath. “ _Finally._ ”

Rhett ignores him. “I still think it’s the right way to go,” he says, and Link opens his mouth to respond because he’d never said it _wasn’t_ , but Rhett doesn’t pause. “If we can bring our GMM audience over, that’s half the battle.”

“You don’t have to sell it to me,” Link cuts in, one knee bouncing as he suddenly becomes aware how uncomfortable his position is. “I was there with you, remember?”

Rhett continues, “We obviously need to talk about this –”

“Yeah, I _know_ –”

“So we should do that. Talk about it more.”

“We are,” Link says, flexing one leg, which has started to tingle with pins and needles.

“No,” says Rhett, getting a bit more energized now, “like, take a few days to ourselves, talk it through, start working on a script that we’re happy with. Just because the show’s gonna be about GMM doesn’t mean we can’t be creative.”

“It’s gonna be everything we know how to do,” Link snorts, but then the rest of Rhett’s sentence sinks in. “What, you wanna go camping?” he says, getting restless now and ready to stand. He picks up the pad of toilet paper.

“Nah, like rent a place or something,” Rhett says. “You wanted to talk about this, didn’t you?”

“Don’t put this back on me,” Link retorts, a bit frustrated by Rhett’s tone but mostly by his desire to get up.

“I’m not,” Rhett says, “I’m saying it’s a good idea, Link, jeez.”

“Okay,” Link announces, “alright, let’s do it. We’ll rent a freakin’ cabin on top of a mountain. Can we talk about this more on Monday?”

Rhett laughs, and the mood eases. “Legs losing feeling?”

“ _Yes_ ,” Link says. “Don’t make me regret this, dude.”

“You called,” Rhett replies, but changes the subject. “It’s gonna be good, Link. I know it is.”

Link grumbles, but Rhett is usually right about these things. The tenseness in his stomach loosens somewhat, and he finds himself nodding. “Yeah,” he says, “I know.”

The line disconnects and Link stands immediately. His reaches to put his phone on the counter before finishing his business, ignoring the quick ding of an incoming text. Heck if he’s going to touch his phone before washing his hands. He puts that on his _face._

His phone dings again and Rhett’s name lights up the screen. Link leans over to read the texts as he dries his hands.

_talk more monday_

_we have too many conversations while taking a dump_

Link grins and picks up his phone, thumbs poised.

_Save it for gmmore_

**Author's Note:**

> this was loosely based on a number of things - a vague memory of an interview in which R&L said something about not talking on the weekends except when they're in the bathroom, the things they've said about GMM, why they went the way they did with Buddy System.
> 
> also, this does not reflect any of my own feelings. it's all conjecture.


End file.
